This morning, just before 7 a.m., the dog and I were walking through the sunny suburban morning, when there was a sudden burst of movement about twenty feet behind us. As we turned to look, two rabbits bolted out from near the house to our left, ran across the street, and vanished into the backyards on the right.

They were followed by a fox, who paused briefly at the edge of the yard to contemplate us, before crossing the street at a purposeful—but never desperate, no, never that—trot, continuing its pursuit of breakfast.

While I grew up in another suburb, it was a lot further to actual wilderness there, and also I didn't have a dog to walk; so it still seems exciting to see even semi-wildlife like foxes or red-tailed hawks just hanging around my neighborhood. Fox!

(I remember telophase's post a couple months ago about foxes with knowing looks, and I have to say, even a garden-variety Northeast U.S. fox is pretty darn good at them. (Note to self: look up local fox legends.))

Went to a wedding this weekend of a couple who have the best how-they-met story I know. Shortly after my friend met her now-husband, she told the story of how she was going on a cruise for a cousin's wedding, and was asked to room with a friend of the family: yeah, it would be awkward to room with a strange guy, but it wasn't a fixup, they just couldn't get the numbers to even up any other way, and did she mind? Well, they hit it off immediately, and as I said, ended up married.

Found at the wedding that this was not actually the whole story. The cousin's now-wife had dreamed that they'd put the two of them into a room on the cruise together and they'd fall in love and get married—despite the fact that they'd never met, lived on opposite sides of the country, and so forth. And they did, and they did. (I presume, but do not know, that the whole story was not told until after they got engaged, because talk about pressure!)

(And wow am I failing to do this justice, thanks to that whole sleep-deprivation thing. Insert funny faces and hand-waving liberally for effect.)

In other news, construction has started here at Chateau Steelypips. In three days, the garage walls have been stripped down to the studs, the front and side doors have been removed, and something-or-other has been done to the floor. (Chad's been taking daily pictures, which will go up on Flickr eventually.) They may be cutting out the door into the living room as soon as Wednesday, which initially seemed early to me considering that the project is projected to take about four weeks, but I guess you'd want to do all the structural stuff first. Yay, library!

(Two funny things about the construction. First, the contractor discovered that local code for new construction includes an egress window in each room (possibly, each ground floor room, but we're not sure). Said window must be fifty-seven inches tall—which is a door, basically, except that we really didn't want an exterior door in that room (taking space away from the bookshelves!). We decided to put two big windows in the front, stuck together, and maybe get Chad a desk instead of a table so that passers-by aren't looking at his knees . . .

(Second, when the contractor stopped by to drop off the permit, he asked Chad, "Have you ever dealt with the town building inspectors?" Chad said he hadn't, because our only prior permit was all done on paper. The contractor said, in tones of amazement, "They're so nice." Which is not at all where we expected that conversation to go.)

And Chad has another dog physics dialogue up, this time about relative motion, in which Emmy demands, "Why do they call relativity 'relativity?' Why not something cooler, like Superfast Timeslowing Squirrelcatching Dynamics?" It is premature of me to hope that relativity can be the sequel to Bunnies Made of Cheese: The Book, but I'm hoping anyway. (No official title or publication date yet; we'll certainly let you all know as soon as we do.)

Finally, U.S. folks: From now through May 19, you can join the National Marrow Donor Program Registry for free (apparently the cost of tissue typing is not always covered). Registering doesn't commit you to do anything and involves just a cheek swab. Non-whites are especially needed, but I hope everyone will consider it.

1. Did Nancy Kress pretty much exhaust the field (or the functional equivalent) for speculative fiction regarding sleep or the lack thereof?

2. Someone could probably write a thesis tracking the distribution of reproductive methods in SF (pregnancies by genetic parents, pregnancies by non-genetic parents, and non-pregnancies) by time and by sex of author. (Brought to you in part by Kate having finally got around to writing up Excession.)

3. Oh, yeah, this is going to be a productive day . . .

I wouldn't be rich.

Chad pointed out a Cognitive Daily survey on what it means to be rich, which had questions about both income and net worth. It's interesting reading, and I recommend all of it, but one thing in particular caught my eye.

( what would you do if you won a tax-free million dollars? )

Lots of people are suggesting concrete actions to take in the wake of the Public Domain Boobs Project. A non-exhaustive list: miriammoules ponders teaching communication skills—which I suspect has a lot in common with the "Our Whole Lives" sexuality education curricula from the Unitarian Universalists, and let me just say that I am even more determined that FutureBaby should get some variant of this than I was before; synecdochic has another long meaty post on how not to be That Guy; and as already noted, backupproject is starting up.

I've been noodling with a related question since quite early in this discussion, the source(s) of self-esteem. ( cut for length )

So, now I'm wondering how to raise FutureBaby with a fundamental conviction that you are the best judge of your self-worth, based on sensible moral and ethical values (or some other way of phrasing it that avoids both sociopathy and too much dependence on the opinions of others). Not just with regard to sexual behavior, but in everything, starting from day one.

If you all have recommendations for resources, or comments about what worked for you, or things I've overlooked, or anything else that you'd like to share, I'd like to hear it.

A miscellany of links, from gender to the best SF MacGuffin ever to some silly videos.

( 16 links )

Still lots of discussion going on; this is just an attempt to highlight a few different aspects.

novapsyche describes why she took part and how she reacted to the original post.

synecdochic on "sex-positive", "getting-laid-positive," performative sexuality, and bystander consent.

delux_vivens on overlooked racial aspects of the "project" and subsequent discussions.

vito_excalibur proposes the Open Source Women Back Each Other Up Program. One place for buttons and T-shirts is CafePress. Practical tips from kathryn_ironic in comments and shaysdays in a separate post.

And on a lighter note, nineveh_uk imagines the whole idea as a lost flashback from Strong Poison.

Trying to highlight interesting comments that I've seen, without being too repetitive of things people have already said in comments to my prior post (at least as they stood a few hours ago, before I went off to an appointment):

coffeeandink has links to good comments in the original post; in comments to her post, rydra_wong succintly articulates the privilege behind the original post, and giandujakiss points out the broader context about what men and women are taught to want.

Also in coffeeandink's comments, lnhammer notes the problems with the originators' choice of name, and says, "I suggest everyone start calling it the Public Domain Boobs Project. Mockery being a most excellent criticism."

In a comment to the_red_shoes's post, rushthatspeaks points out not only the threat of the question but the way that people opposing it are being told they're unworthy of being heard.

springheel_jack sets out how this reinforcement of sexism stems from the basic libertarian fallacy.

hahathor proposes The Open-Source Knuckle Sandwich Project.

ETA 2: I also like the way misia phrases her Open Source Swift Kick to the Balls Project.

Finally for now, theferrett has edited his original post to say that people shouldn't do this and that the Open-Source Boob Project is dead. I have issues with the phrasing of his edit, but am glad of the practical statements in it.

ETA: on a tangent, veejane has smart comments about safety at cons. And now I'm really done for a while, possibly the night, honest.

For extremely tight muscles: menthol, menthol and camphor, or capsaicin? Bonus if you can vouch for non-stinky brands.

(No Aspercreme or equivalent.)

If you are a stranger, especially a man, perhaps especially in a group of other strangers who are men, and you come up to me and say, "You're very beautiful. I'd like to touch your breasts. Would you mind if I did?":

You will put me in fear.

Because you could be someone who will go away quietly if I say no (which I will). You could be the exiled gay prince of Farlandia, cursed to wander this Earth looking for the key to his return that can only be revealed by touching the breast of a willing stranger, and who isn't enjoying this at all. You could, in short, not be a danger to me.

But how am I supposed to know that?

How am I supposed to distinguish you from the person who says he's really just whatever, but is actually going to put emotional pressure on me, or make a scene, or stalk me, or rape me?

I can't. Because that would require a level of discernment and of trust that is not possible, by definition, in my dealings with a stranger.

And therefore, if you ask to touch my breasts, you will frighten me.

If your goal is actually to make a better world, I suggest that you use a method that doesn't involve putting women in fear.

(Also, I find it hard to believe you can create "the kind of world where [people can] say, 'Wow, I'd like to touch your breasts,' and people would understand that it's not a way of reducing you to a set of nipples and ignoring the rest of you, but rather a way of saying that I may not yet know your mind, but your body is beautiful," by going up to women, touching their breasts, and then going away. Among many, many other problems that are noted in the comments to the original. But that's secondary to my main point here.)

I've finished the first of the cross-stitch projects I'm making for FutureBaby! Of course I picked "Butterflies" to do first because it looked the simplest, but it still went surprisingly fast (just a little over two weeks). And I'd forgotten how addictive crafts can be—look! My fingers producing tangible colorful designs right before my very eyes!

(The finished version is even cuter than that picture, which is a little over-exposed or something, if I do say so myself.)

Now I will let it rest for a couple of days while I, err, hurry up and finish kicking a recalcitrant brief into submission, then I'll look for visible errors, wash it, press it, and tuck it away to be framed once I'm done with the other two. At this rate I may even be able to do that dragon alphabet—have to see how my energy holds up, but really, cross-stitch is great for when I don't feel like I have the brain cells to read or write . . .

I am so ridiculously excited about this.

While I'm posting, have a mixed-bag links dump, because they've been accumulating:

( baker's dozen of links )

ETA: one more link: pregnancy mug shots. (ETA 2: pre-emptive comment: I am wicked tired of people discussing the size of my stomach, so please just assume I've heard it if you're moved to say something in that vein.)

Half an hour ago, I stepped out the back door and into what seemed more like a rainforest than the Northeast United States. The air was warm, humid, and smelled of wet earth and plant growth. Water dripped from the trees; mist hung between them. Birds seen and unseen made an enormous racket in all directions. And the bright, bright sun streamed through the trees and lit up the mist.

My mood will undoubtedly crash into the basement again as I spend the rest of the day banging my head against work, but until then: yay, spring!

I got an ARC of P.C. and Kristin Cast's Chosen through LibraryThing's early reviewers program. However, it turns out to be the third novel in a first-person YA vampire series, and I am so very much not the reader for it. Anyone want? Leave a comment, and in 24 hours I'll pick someone at random.

Only one of my very short lyrics hasn't been guessed, and it was in retrospect not a good one, so I've updated the post with a full line.

Chad's posted a two-word lyrics quiz.

And today's candidate for Best Thing Ever: the iTunes Lyrics Importer automatically imports lyrics into iTunes from Lyricwiki (Windows). It's like magic.

(Oooh, and then I can use the script here to see what songs didn't get lyrics automatically imported, and do them by hand if I want! The Internet is awesome.)

Fafblog! is back to save the universe.

When I read this quiz of lyrics in alphabetical order, I remarked to Chad that some of the songs were given away by single words. Combined with a dim recollection of Izzle Pfaff's 2003 two-word lyrics quiz, this set me off on yet another cat-vacuuming project, to wit:

( The Very Short Lyrics Quiz )

Updated April 1 with a better clue to the one unguessed lyric.

Nine very miscellaneous links: race, politics, book reviewing, parenting, the environment, advice, food, and deadly animals.

( links )

So I've got this idea in my head that I want to cross-stitch a decoration for FutureBaby's room. We're eschewing most of the usual nursery decoration stuff (lamps? valences? no, thanks), but I haven't been able to shake the urge to make something.

( cross-stitch wibbling )

Comments from cross-stitchers or people who know what kids tend to like in decorations are welcome.

Continuing the meme of asking about icons, or asking me to ask you about yours.

ninjoo asked about these:

( five icons )

desdenova asked about these:

( five more icons )

Okay, if you've been bursting to give us advice related to FutureBaby, here's your chance:

( two questions )