Kate (kate_nepveu) wrote,
Kate
kate_nepveu

adoption fantasies: unclear on the concept

Last night at bedtime, SteelyKid and I were rubbing lotion on her legs, and she told me that she was doing this after "my mother slapped me."

I said, "I'm your mother and I don't slap you."

After a slight pause, she amended this to, "My real mother."

I said, "No, I'm your real mother and I don't slap you, I won't ever slap you."

She then changed the subject and told me, in the same earnest but not-upset way, and at very considerable length, about the bear who ate her toes and bit her arm yesterday (a big bear, not the little bear she was holding in the palm of her hand, she's very nice, you can pet her).

Someday, I will be able to tell her that you're supposed to fantasize about your "real" parents being nicer than your current parents. Until then, I will just be amused.

(She got "pretend" months ago, as in, she'd assert it was one of our birthdays, we'd say no, and she'd respond, "Your pretend birthday." I think this may be the first time I heard her do "real" as the flip side of that, though. I have no idea if these are actually unusual cognitive concepts for her to be grasping now, or if just seems like they ought to be to a non-expert.)

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